Florida's First Choice for Autism Support

Posts tagged ‘USF’

Autism & Dating

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I’ve been meaning to cover this for a while but, being the genius that I am, didn’t actually get around to it until AFTER Valentine’s Day. Romance is a tricky subject for anyone, and by no means am I qualified to talk about the intricacies of dating. However, I can give some insight on the topic from the perspective of someone on the autism spectrum. Familial and friendly bonds can be scary and/or difficult for people with ASD, let alone being in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean its something we don’t desire or can’t achieve. In this piece, I’d like to focus on what the experience of dating someone with autism is like, as opposed to a standard dating guide which you can find plenty of!

So, what is it like to be with someone on the spectrum? It’s certainly a bit different, but in which ways? I pooled together my own ideas, as well as a few different sources, to give a general idea. I believe one of the most important aspects is that just because we may not know exactly how to express our feelings, doesn’t mean that they don’t exist and that they’re not strong. Make the extra effort to work with us through our feelings and we’ll reward you with all the love and affection in the world. There are several other minor considerations to make when dating someone on the spectrum, such as a lack of eye contact, shying away from anything physical (at least at first), not picking up on sarcasm as well, and not wanting to go out to typical date locations.

I actually interviewed a friend of mine who’s dating a guy on the spectrum. I asked her some of the first questions that came to my own mind, and here’s what she said.

  1. Q: Being honest, have you ever looked at your partner differently because they were on the autism spectrum?

A: Yes, but in a good way. I see my partner as someone who is extremely organized, smart, extremely caring, and someone who has his little quirks that I love so much.

  1. Q: What, if any, are some of the unique challenges presented when dating someone with autism?

A: A challenge that I’ve personally faced is trying to understand the difference between the silences. It’s hard for me to understand if my partner is silent because he’s mad, or just zoning out, or something completely different. Another challenge is making sure to remember the sensory issues that he has, but I am getting much better and I love learning about him.

  1. Q: Do you need to put in any extra effort in dating someone with autism as opposed to someone without? If so, is that something you’re okay with or is it straining?

A: Personally, I think you have to put effort into every type of relationship, regardless if someone is on the spectrum or not. I do agree that it calls for more effort because in my experience, people on the spectrum are used to a certain routine and it is different to not only see that routine but to become a part of it/add new things. This is definitely something I’m okay with. I have been around people on the spectrum my entire life and now that I’m dating someone on it, I really wouldn’t want it any other way. I love learning about him and I think he is perfect just the way he is. I know I have SO much more to learn, and honestly, I can’t wait!

 

> G. Sosso

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ICI’s Evaluation of TLA

“The Institute for Community Inclusion (ICI) at the University for Massachusetts Boston conducted a one-year evaluation of TLA to explore its essential programmatic elements, and the ways in which the experience influenced student transformation. The evaluation included a thorough observation of program structure, curriculum, daily practices, and history, as well as detailed interviews with TLA staff, students, parents, mentors, and external collaborators. The findings showed that TLA influenced students’ personal growth and transformation, manifesting in a newfound self-confidence. At the end of the program, students described themselves as having greater self-awareness, self-esteem, independence, preparedness, and social competence. The purpose of this brief is to share the lessons learned from TLA to inspire similar programs and other transition professionals striving to optimize transition outcomes for students with ASD.”

Read the entire brief here.

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My Diagnosis and How It Changed My Life

For this latest entry in my little section of CARD’s blogosphere, I want to take a step back from the more research-based topics that I usually tackle and weave a more personal tale. I do this for two (somewhat similar) reasons; namely, I haven’t done so in quite a while and desire an outlet for my (nonexistent) narcissism, and two, the thought of connecting to someone through my writing has always been a dream of mine, and I feel that if just one person who reads this can relate to my story, and somehow see a reflection of themselves, then I have succeeded. In previous writings I’ve done for CARD, I’ve referenced my late diagnosis, but never fully went into detail about the ramifications it had not only on my life, but the life of my family as well. So, without further ado, let me share with you my journey to the discovery of my autism spectrum disorder.

As I alluded to earlier, I did not have the luxury of something like CARD when I was younger. My diagnosis was a late one, which definitely had an ill effect on my childhood and early adolescence. Without a name and “face” to whatever was causing my  misbehavior growing up, the assumption became that I was just shy, introverted and lazy. And while I cannot deny that there may be some merit to those assumptions, they don’t paint the whole picture. My parents thought I was exhibiting these behaviors out of apathy for life, and that I could easily fix it if I just tried hard enough. While this is no excuse for poor behavior, I can assure you there was no way I could cure the issues which ailed me without significant outside help.

My parents, bless their hearts, had no idea what to do with me between the ages of 9 and 15. I often didn’t do my homework, never socialized, outright refused to work or do chores, was disrespectful (though that was never my intent, I later realized why it came off that way), and quit every extracurricular activity I ever participated in. Their go-to punishment were groundings, and they were constant. Not only did they have no effect, they worsened our relationship considerably. Oftentimes, confrontations turned into screaming matches with me ending up in my room in tears. I never wanted to approach my parents, and they felt they were losing their son, so it was clear something needed to be done.

Cue 9th grade, the worst year of my schooling career. At this point, things were at an all-time low, and my mom suggested therapy one day out of the blue. I didn’t have the best opinion of therapy at the time, as my sessions when I was younger amounted to little other than the aforementioned “he’s just shy,” but I figured it was worth a shot if I didn’t want to end up as a runaway. My therapist, Marilyn, really in many ways saved my life. She immediately recognized the dysfunction within my family, and she knew something with me was off. As a therapist, she could not officially make a diagnosis, but she is the one who got me and my family to consider the possibility of ASD, as I fit much of the criteria.

After recommending a licensed psychologist, I went in for several rounds of testing, and the results were… telling. Not only was I diagnosed with ASD (Asperger’s at the time), but several other mental issues I’d rather not disclose. While certainly eye opening, it was almost a relief in a way, both for me and my family. On my end, it was a relief to know that I wasn’t some loser who just acted out of spite, and that there was a reason I was different from all my classmates. For my parents, it was much the same, but now they had something to go on as far as getting help. And help they did! I continued to see Marilyn, we started doing family therapy, I got the medication that I needed at the time, and most importantly, I repaired my once-broken relationship with my parents. Knowing that I had ASD also allowed me to do my own research and help to develop better coping mechanisms that work for me, and as a result I’ve become a more well-rounded, productive person.

To cap all this off, I just want to speak directly to anyone on the spectrum reading this who may be struggling, be it with family or their own self-worth: things will get better. Accept who you are, love yourself, dedicate yourself to self-improvement, and never be ashamed of who you are. If your ASD diagnosis is a recent event and you’re trying to cope with everything, don’t think of it as a crutch or anything to be ashamed of. It only makes you special and unique. Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed this tale.

> G. Sosso

Autism & College

A large number of children growing up with autism have a difficult time thinking about what “comes next.” Because of the difficulties that come naturally with childhood and adolescence, along with the unique challenges presented by ASD, many parents are more focused on simply getting their child through high school, and who knows what comes next. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but everyone has to leave the nest sometime. I’ve previously discussed the possibility of jumping straight into the working world, which is a perfectly acceptable path to take. College isn’t for everyone. However, there are many advantages associated with going to college, whether it be for an associate, bachelor’s, master’s or doctoral degree. Currently, I am attending Hillsborough Community College, earning my AA degree, before I transfer to USF for my bachelor’s. I couldn’t be happier with my decision, and I’m proud to say that I know I’m going places; making something of myself. That sense of validation and self-worth is one of the many reasons going to college is a positive thing for those on the spectrum. But there are others as well!

Let’s not beat around the bush here. A college degree makes for a happy and healthy bank account. While it is more than possible to be successful in life without a higher education, the numbers don’t lie. This article paints college in a very favorable light, but I’d like to focus on the chart included herein. The more school you complete, the more you make and the lower your chance for unemployment. And as we see here, the autism demographic has a major unemployment problem, unparalleled in almost any other group out there. If you can find your passion, something you’re talented at and enjoy doing, then go for it and you can make a fulfilling career for yourself. And best of all, you won’t have to worry about financial strain while doing it.

As we all know, however, money can’t buy happiness. Love, family, friends, etc. are the true path to a satisfying life, and one of the most important aspects of that is love for what you do. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” Like it or not, getting a college degree opens up the door for so many different career paths that are unavailable to those without a higher education. Those on the spectrum often have a wide array of quirky and creative interests; luckily, there’s a major/degree out there for just about anything you can think of. Take well-known and outspoken autism advocate Temple Grandin for instance who, according to her Wikipedia page, got her bachelor’s degree in human psychology, and her master’s and doctoral degrees in animal science. Now there’s someone who’s really made something of themselves.

Perhaps most importantly is that, simply put, having a degree correlates strongly to increased happiness. As shown in every source I’ve found, such as this one, a college educated population is a content population, and considering the depression epidemic common throughout the autism community, this can only be a good thing. Personally, ever since I started my journey towards a degree, I’ve been feeling much better about myself, and I’ve never been happier!

_ G. Sosso

Loneliness & Autism

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We’ll be shifting gears this time around to talk about something a bit more serious. There’s been a trend in my blogs to write about subjects which hold significance to me for one reason or another, as I find it much easier to write when you can personally relate to the topic at hand. This week is no different, as I’ll be discussing loneliness and how it affects people on the autism spectrum. Due to the socialization issues faced by those with autism, making and (perhaps most importantly) keeping friends can be a daunting task, despite our pure intentions. This lack of companionship can be highly damaging to anyone, let alone individuals on the spectrum. However, I promise if you just keep at it, and stay true to yourself, eventually good friends will come along. But I digress, let’s get into it.

From what I could find, apparently there used to be an idea that people with autism didn’t feel lonely or, at the very least, weren’t as severely impacted by it as others. I find this idea dubious at best. One study from the University of Missouri measured “loneliness, number and nature of friendships, depression, anxiety, life satisfaction, and self-esteem.” It was discovered that among this demographic, a lack of close friends increased depression and anxiety, while lowering self-esteem and satisfaction with life. This holds true for myself and everyone else I’ve ever known with autism.

It is possible that many people, mostly children, with ASD may not understand the connection between loneliness and real friendship. Making acquaintances is one thing, but having a true friend who’ll be there for you through thick and thin is difficult for so many of us. According to Tony Attwood, a well-known figure in the autism community in Australia, children with autism have weaker friendships than their neurotypical peers and don’t understand that their loneliness stems from that. “Whereas typical children define and understand loneliness as being alone (with no one to play with) and feelings of sadness, the majority of autistic children define loneliness as only one dimension of being alone. They tend to not attribute an emotional feeling (e.g. sadness) to their loneliness.” That degree of sadness that they don’t quite understand leads to intense feelings of depression and loneliness which is almost impossible to break out of.

As I’ve alluded to, the true cure for the devastating effects of loneliness is to forge strong friendships. A few years ago, I made 2 friends who are the best I’ve ever had, and for the first time I feel truly happy in my life. I feel better about myself than ever before. And this idea is definitely supported. From the first study I referenced, it was found that a “greater quantity and quality of friendships were associated with decreased loneliness among adults with autism spectrum disorders.” Interacting with the social world we live in can be challenging, and even scary at times, but as I said before, just keep being you and one day the right people will notice, and make a great friend in the process.

  • G. Sosso

STEM Camp for Individuals with Disabilities

STEM_summer_flyer

For more information about the Summer STEM
Career Exploration program, please visit the link:
http://carrt.usf.edu/docs/STEM_summer_flyer.pdf

To register for this summer camp, please download the registration form at:
http://carrt.usf.edu/docs/STEM_summer_registration.pdf

Please email the filled form to: alqasemi@usf.edu and scarey3@usf.edu

For any questions or inquiries, please contact Dr. Redwan Alqasemi at 813-974-2115.

Personal Tales: Gage’s Autism Speech

I’ve been taking a Public Speaking class lately at Hillsborough Community College. Recently, I had to do an informative speech, and I chose to speak about autism. My speech, like every other, was broken up into 3 parts: what autism is and is not, autism prevalence and its rise in recent years, and what various organizations are doing to help individuals and families on the spectrum. I would like to share a rough transcript of my speech for you all today.

“Hello, my name is Gage Sosso and I will be talking to you today about autism spectrum disorder, or autism. I myself have been dealing with this condition my entire life, only being diagnosed at the age of 15. Since August of 2015, I have been working at the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities at USF, doing blog writing for them which requires me to do further research on autism. First, I would like to discuss what exactly ASD is, and what it is not.

Autism is, at its base, a neurological developmental disorder which affects social, non-verbal communicative and sometimes linguistic/verbal skills. Autism manifests differently for everyone, as it is a spectrum. There are two common terms in autism diagnosis: high-functioning and low-functioning. High-functioning people struggle in social situations, suffer from anxiety, and have trouble with non-verbal clues, amongst others. Low-functioning has all that, plus an inability, or at least extreme difficulty, to communicate at all.

Autism has an interesting reputation. Let me explain to you what it is not. As confirmed by mentalhelp.net, it is not mental retardation, as some would believe it to be. In fact, there is no correlation between autism and lack of intelligence. Many people on the spectrum actually have above average IQs. The other common portrayal, especially popular in Hollywood films like Rain Man, is the ‘autistic savant.’ While savant syndrome does stem from neurodevelopmental disorders, only 10% of savants are on the autism spectrum, as confirmed by the Wisconsin Medical Society in a study.

Our understanding of, and how we diagnose autism has changed drastically over the years. According to the Autism Science Foundation, as recently as the late 1980s, the diagnosis for autism was 1 in 10,000. Since then, it’s rose to 1 in 2,500, then 1 in 1,000, and so on. This rise has been astonishing to many psychologists and sociologists. It should also be noted that the rate of autism is higher in males than females.

A number that stuck for a while was 1 in 68, but the current number is 1 in 45. So why the meteoric rise? Is it an epidemic? Possibly, but there are other theories. One that I personally subscribe to comes from scientificamerican.com, which posts that autism rates have not increased; rather, the diagnosis has changed along with greater understanding in the field of neurosciences. What was once thought of as mental retardation, schizophrenia, or just outright insanity, is now understood to be ASD.

There is much being done in the area of autism awareness. Some organizations, such as the well-known Autism Speaks, focus primarily on research and figuring out what autism is on a fundamental level, where it comes from, why it happens, and potential ‘cures.’ They (and other, similar groups), have even delved into research on the vaccines cause autism theory, which is an entirely different can of worms that I won’t get into here. Essentially, they want to understand autism on a scientific level.

Then there are groups like CARD who take a more active approach in the lives of individuals and families with autism. They focus on community outreach, highlighting positive contributions people on the spectrum have made, as well as striving for inclusion and accessibility for those with disabilities. CARD, for example, has Autism Friendly Business, where a company can contact them and receive free training on how to better assist with customers or clients with autism. Essentially, these groups seek to improve the day-to-day lives of people with autism.

Autism is often symbolized by a puzzle piece. This came about in the 1960s for a very simple reason: the condition was considered puzzling by psychologists at the time. Maybe, just maybe, if we strive for inclusion and understanding, one day we’ll discover the missing piece to this mysterious puzzle.”

> G. Sosso

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